A good relationship should bring out the best in you. But before you dismiss the notion as overly romantic, it has its merits. Being self-aware teaches you how to behave maturely towards your partner for the good of the relationship. Conversely, having a strong sense of what is good or right for you helps you avoid the bad seeds. Getting yourself stuck in a relationship with someone who persistently undermines your person and self-worth are signs that your relationship is all wrong and doomed to fail.
A destructive relationship is detrimental to your well-being. Unfortunately, most people are blinded by their feelings of giddiness to notice. Here are three telltale signs from Ottawa Counselling Services that your relationship is all wrong.
An intact sense-of-self in both parties is actually a hallmark of a stable and healthy partnership. Your separate individualities bring something new to the table. It keeps the relationship fresh and exciting. Your partner should be able to love your good qualities as well as understand and accept the things that make you different from them. However, if your partner continually expresses their dissatisfaction with you as a person, that is not good. If you are forced to change just to make them happy, then leave. Change isn’t always a bad thing. But it must be wholly voluntary and not forced.
Insecurity is an ugly feeling. It breeds resentment and anger towards yourself and your partner. A good relationship should not inspire insecure thoughts. Your partner should build you up. But if your partner actively makes you feel unwanted or not good enough to be with them, that’s unhealthy. A relationship that drives you to the point of self-doubt, where you’re continually anxious, puts you under so much stress. It will be very difficult to stay happy in this kind of environment so best just to leave.
When your partner can never be seem to be honest with you or their words never match up with their actions, then he or she is being inconsistent. Inconsistency is actually a form of disrespect. If your partner treats you this way then he/she must not care for you very much. They don’t find the need to be honest with you or feel like they have to follow up on their promises. You have to be able to trust your partner. They should be able to reassure your fears and doubts just by being able to do what they say.
Some relationships can be improved through counselling by equipping both partners with more effective communication tools. Other relationships are best ended for the benefit of both parties. If any of the three signs above apply, it may be a sign that your current relationship is all wrong and you’d do well to move on to greener pastures.